Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
