Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
