i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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