K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
