I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
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