Texts From Last Night · slate_32's Favorites

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slate_32's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

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(778): View more from British Columbia

No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.

Fav 16 4747 918
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(206): View more from Washington

alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac

Fav 5 3337 816
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(513): View more from Ohio

he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"

Fav 20 2794 1348
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(515): View more from Iowa

im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.

Fav 6 2589 1125
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.

Fav 31 3307 1188
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(623): View more from Arizona

Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."

Fav 13 3293 1573
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's

Fav 16 2582 1228
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(201): View more from New Jersey

Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.

Fav 11 2987 1740
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