Texts From Last Night · sasakiakatsuchi's Favorites

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sasakiakatsuchi's Favorites Texts:

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(612): View more from Minnesota

he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...

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(515): View more from Iowa

I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"

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(305): View more from Florida

Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever

(615): View more from Tennessee

She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister

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(970): View more from Colorado

I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.

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(916): View more from California

Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.

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(443): View more from Maryland

He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better

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