Texts From Last Night · doomsauced's Favorites

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doomsauced's Favorites Texts:

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?

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(404): View more from Georgia

There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase

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(352): View more from Florida

i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE

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(703): View more from Virginia

we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.

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(540): View more from Virginia

Are you pooping in the stall next to me?

(404): View more from Georgia

Maybe....

(540): View more from Virginia

Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.

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