Texts From Last Night · chipieVII's Favorites

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chipieVII's Favorites Texts:

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?

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(360): View more from Washington

thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking

Fav 8 3810 1115
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(544): View more from

I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.

Fav 10 2014 1047
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(314): View more from Missouri

You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.

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(248): View more from Michigan

THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST

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(540): View more from Virginia

Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now

Fav 27 9322 1178
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(716): View more from New York

i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls

Fav 8 2568 1461
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