Texts From Last Night · acsilha's Favorites

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acsilha's Favorites Texts:

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.

Fav 36 2083 5225
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(609): View more from New Jersey

I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."

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(712): View more from Iowa

Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.

Fav 8 6407 1420
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(807): View more from Ontario

I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.

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(678): View more from Georgia

I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.

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(404): View more from Georgia

Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.

Fav 24 5715 1744
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(313): View more from Michigan

Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"

Fav 41 15649 1618
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