Texts From Last Night · USSENTERNCC1701E's Favorites

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USSENTERNCC1701E's Favorites Texts:

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(541): View more from Oregon

they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you

Fav 23 4750 957
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(678): View more from Georgia

You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'

Fav 12 3545 1043
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(319): View more from Iowa

Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.

Fav 2 1662 700
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(614): View more from Ohio

The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?

Fav 16 4234 922
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(805): View more from California

I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life

Fav 22 1314 2009
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