Texts From Last Night · LordCurtis's Favorites

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LordCurtis's Favorites Texts:

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(630): View more from Illinois

Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>

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(931): View more from Tennessee

I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again

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(248): View more from Michigan

I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...

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(937): View more from Ohio

Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.

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(847): View more from Illinois

You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering

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(847): View more from Illinois

This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.

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(419): View more from Ohio

Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.

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