Texts From Last Night · A_C_M's Favorites

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A_C_M's Favorites Texts:

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(919): View more from North Carolina

They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible

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(630): View more from Illinois

everybody makes mistakes

(1-630): View more from Illinois

i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances

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(519): View more from Ontario

You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.

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(208): View more from Idaho

I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.

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(806): View more from Texas

All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"

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(480): View more from Arizona

We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.

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(347): View more from New York

Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.

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