just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
