I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
