HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
