This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
