margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
