No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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