We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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