There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
