What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
