I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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