I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
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