I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
