hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
