I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
