we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
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