Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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