Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
