It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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