i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
