You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
