I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
im six kinds of drunk right now
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Randomize
