Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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