I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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