Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
