I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
