I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
