Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I want to fling myself into the sun
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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