all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
