Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
