Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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