I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
