It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
