Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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