You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
