I think I am morally bankrupt
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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