just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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