Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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