Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
