Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
